This is it for 2008!

I am feeling a little sentimental tonight. So I thought I would be exactly like everyone else and do a year end review or something like that. I wouldn't say that 2008 was off to a good start since I was still recovering in January from a surgery that went very very wrong in the end of July the previous year. In February I filed for divorce and Sherman was removed forcibly from our home. Life was a struggle, Noah became very sick and was in the hospital with pneumonia and I lost my job because of all the time off between me being sick, the divorce and Noah being in the hospital. I was able to finish summer school with good grades and the divorce was finalized in July. In August I was able to obtain a court order to have Noah's last name changed so we would all have the same last name. In September I met a guy named Rich to go watch a football game, who knew he would be such a great guy. Rich has been a huge help in our life since. In October I was able to celebrate my birthday several times, which makes up for years passed. I went to Edgefest, to my favorite restaurant, and to a comedy club plus more I don't remember. Some where between March and September the kids really started falling apart. The divorce was to much for them. Unfortunately the marriage would have been way more than any of us could of handled. Nathan began to fight with everyone getting kicked out of school until finally he did enough damage to get the sheriff involved. Despite the fact that I was doing everything I could to help him it was not enough and Abby was just in shambles, she wanted her Daddy. Explaining all the grown up stuff that went on and all the stuff that wasn't right and that they didn't deserve to go through was some kind of chore for me, one that I have not really mastered. My first attempt at getting the kids qualified help failed miserable. I am sure the therapist that was sent had spent more money on plastic surgery then on her education. Then there was a light, a very dear friend and respected medical professional recommended Nate start taking medication. By this point I was willing to try anything and so we did. Nathan has not been in one fight since. He has also made honor roll, does all of his chores with out hassle most of the time and helps out a lot around the house and with the babies. He also just seems happier! Abby on the other hand is not progressing as well she is to young for any kind of medication at this point. But psychotherapy is being used well more specifically aversion therapy because Abby has anxiety/panic disorder, OCD, and a need to control things more so than the normal kid. I am very excited to report that the therapist that comes to see us seems to really know what she is doing and is helping the kids and me to help the kids. Breanna has had some new things in her life this year aside from officially having her title (teenager) catch up with her hormones. Her biological father's (who is deceased) family has been in contact with her. I think she is a little unsure of it. Although she has talked for years that she wanted to know them, now that she has actually talked to some of them I think she is more confused than ever. And despite the fact she repeatedly said she hated my ex husband, I have heard her on more than one occasion say that she misses him. And when I refer to my ex as all the kids dad she no longer corrects me. Once she even heard me being a little snippy with him and told me to be nice. Which is so out of character for her. As I have said in many posts before, she is keeping her grades and over all doing pretty well. Noah is doing well because he is so young he probably wont remember any of this(with any luck). He is finally starting to talk. Which is always fun for me, getting him to say things he can't pronounce and then laughing at him.
In some ways I think the things we go through no matter how bad they seem are meant to bring us to something better. Had I not gone through everything I have been through I would not have learned all the things I have learned. I would not have learned how anyone could love someone who hurts them, or why someone would hurt them in the first place, or how to be more tolerant and less judgemental. Why some things just are. That you really don't control anything. That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want doesn't mean they don't love you with all their heart. That if you don't risk anything you won't gain anything. That anything worth doing requires effort. That there really are no take backs in life. That forgiving is one of the hardest things I will ever do. That I am responsible for my choices. That my choices, not chance determine my destiny. This is a lot of learning for one year.

I do realize that after about the second sentence this became more of a memoir and less of a review. However it's all relative and if one person benefit's from this then I am ok with it. If one mom finds the strentgh to keep on going in her daily struggle to make it, then it was worth it.

What's in store for 2009?
School, school, snd more school. Someday I will finish. Work I love my job in the ER. And hopefully peace for my children and I. Sometimes this is easier said then done, but I am commited to making improvements in our lives.

Happy New Year!

Making History!

OK well I don't know if it is anything to put in the history books BUT.... My Christmas tree is already down. For anyone who really knows me it's a miracle that the the tree or anything Christmas related is put away before, oh I don't know, say, March. LOL. I came home from work this morning and Rich had already taken down everything and put it all away. God bless that man!!! He takes such good care of us and is sooooooo much help! I never have to ask for anything he just knows what we need and always takes care of it before we need it.
Any hootieville, Christmas was great in our house. And even though I was a little out of sorts about Christmas this year everything turned out perfect. So we had to do most everything on Christmas Eve because I had to work Christmas night. My bff Tash and her to beautiful babies shared in the festivities with us along with Rich. I can't tell you how happy it made to have my chosen family here and to be surrounded by love for the holidays. We had a fantastic ham dinner with all the fixin's. Then we all went to Christmas Eve service at our wonderful little church. Where the kids and I were asked to light the Christ's candle for the Advent service. We did open some of our presents on Christmas Eve as Tash's babies would not be joining us in the morning, as they would be going to their fathers. I think everyone was very happy with their gifts, except Bre. Although she did like what she got she also wanted a new cell phone but didn't get one. I think she and I are both coming to terms with the fact that she does not deserve to get everything she wants. All in all I am very pleased with the way things turned out. Here are a few, I mean a lot of my favorite pictures from Christmas. Peace and Love to everyone.

End of the Semester.

Christmas is almost here. Which means that the fall semester has drawn to a close. I took my last two finals this past Tuesday. Although the final grades are not posted yet I am pretty sure my final grades will be two A's and one B. I am pretty ok with that, but it would have been nice to have all A's. Oh well can't win em' all. The big kids are also out for winter break. Nate made honor roll with all A's and B's. I am very excited for him. His new medicine is really helping him focus and get his work done. He is also in karate and that helps him burn of extra energy and to focus all the energy he does have. Bre also had good grades A's and B's except for one class. Mostly because she doesn't think that library is a relevant class. But she has been informed of the importance of reading. LOL! So really good grades for everyone across the board, just one more reason to celebrate!

In other relatively boring news the babies have been pulled out of daycare, because Noah has been very very sick the entire time he has been there and Abby has gotten sick several times. The final straw was Noah got hand foot and mouth disease and was like the ninth or tenth kid to get it. It was very painful for Noah and very hard for me to watch Noah be in so much pain and not be able to eat or drink. However the upside is... I think everyone is actually healthy right now and I hope they all stay that for a long time!!!

Some mug shots from this week:

Two Birthdays For The Price of One.

Well I just have one day left of school this semester. Yea!!! But I wanted to tell you about Noah's and Breanna's birthday that was this past Sunday. Which is also shared with our friend Austin (Happy Birthday Austin), and Pearl Harbor Day. Despite working all night Saturday and knowing I had to go back in Sunday night, I got up around 2ish so that I could get ready for work, take everyone to dinner and have just a little time before they went off shopping with out me. For dinner we all went to Applebee's, unfortunately Noah got sick in the parking lot and threw up all over Rich. Just a side note Noah has been sick for like a month or better, but finally I think he is getting better now. We will see when we go back to Doctor Tash tomorrow. Any hoodle, so Noah had crackers for his Bday dinner. He must have been feeling better when the ice cream came out though, cause he had a spoon in both hands. LOL. Breanna brought a friend along and did normal teenage stuff. They ate a little bit. But mostly excited to go shopping since I had given Rich money to go buy her new shoes and Rich had given her 100.00 as her gift. Nate and Abby were very excited to be going to the mall as they always have a great time with Rich. I gave Noah a small little toy car set thing that went straight to the toy box never to be seen again. But Rich bought Noah a very cool race track for little kids (it has really big cars) that he really likes. Trumped again. Sigh... Oh I am just glad my kiddos are happy! Christmas cards will probably be late this year. I havent even taken the picture yet (I know, I know, I am a procrastinator in the worst way right now) but here are some recent pictures to hold you all over. Much love to all. Merry Christmas!

Life's Randomness

Some things strike me as ultimate perfectness. Such as when karma just makes up for all the things that have seemed to have gone unpunished or even unnoticed. Remember when you can home from school upset because some kid was not nice to you; and your mom said don't worry about it they'll get theirs or what goes around comes around. Finally she was right! Nothing could be truer in my life right now and to actually see it is very satisfying. Ironically Karma seems to have stepped in and said your pain was not in vain. In some ways I know I should not take such pleasure in other peoples suffering, however I feel that justice is served at least in some ways. To know is one thing, but to see it, is completely different. Karma is not just providing justice for me it is also showing me that my efforts to make changes in my life were worth it. Karma has also given those who deserve bigger challenges plenty of room to grow and for this I am very happy.

For the large number of cynics I have encountered lately... Karma will get you too. The background: I have recently had the displeasure of being surrounded by cynics for long periods of time and I don't see this trend ending anytime soon! My first approach was just to be happy about life (cause I do have a great life)and blow them off. However cynicism is somewhat contagious (like yawning) and I have found myself being sucked in on several occasions. I would prefer for this not to happen or Karma will get me and not in a good way. One would think these particular type of people would be exactly the opposite of cynical, but then people don't take the "Hypocritical Oath" for nothin' while others aren't even held to those standards(however they seem to be able to meet them with no problem)(lol). For the record being cynical will not make you day go better!

On the other hand I have run in to a few very inspiring people in 2008. Not to say that I am not inspired to Not be like the afore mentioned people. However I mean true awe inspiring people. People that make you wanna change the world with them. People that make you reevaluate your out look on life. The real heros in this world. Because of these encounters I have changed the direction of my journey through life and will continue to do so until only good Karma comes my way.

Wisdom for the ages.

The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it!
Quote by Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.
I don't think I could have said it better myself. I was just looking for a little wisdom for myself and to share. This seams fitting in these times of uncertainty.
That's all the love for you tonight.

More typos I am sure, but I don't care.

So it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep as usual. I thought I would pick up where I left off so abruptly the other day. Back to what I was saying about Nate.... so he is having trouble in school and keeping his temper in check, his school is sub par and just to prove it they sent me a letter telling me that they have failed to make sufficient improvement several years running. They have failed to properly evaluate him, so too has his private therapist. Not one person has filled out a BASC or CBCL or any other standardized form for idenifing emotional disorders. I however have pulled every last one of them off the internet and filled them out myself and identified several things going on, took nate to see a Dr. friend of mine showed her the results and she agreed to put him on a non stimulant but effective medicine. In the mean time I have sought new private therapists for reevaluation and proper treatment. Cross your fingers for progress and no more visits from the sheriff.

Noah is still pretty sick. I am not sure if it is taking him a long time to get over this or he caught something new. But in any case he sounds like a frog. If I spray him with Lysol will it go away? lol. Nate and I are the only one that didn't get sick out all this mess.

Anyway I don't remember if I told you all but the babies are going to daycare and Abby is in preschool and she just loves it. She comes home every day talking about homework and writting letters and is doing really well with writting her name. When she gets home she pretends she has homework to do and carries all her papers around and always has a pen with her. Then she usually colors for awhile until she cant take Noah throwing the crayons at her anymore and decides to put them up. Noah's favorite thing to do with crayons is to throw them one at a time until all 200 or so of them are gone.shesh!

Oh, and then there is me... I have a couple weeks left in this semester I have A's and B's and can't wait for this semester to be over. I have worked next semester'a schedule to be a better fit with my night schedule.

Ok well it's 1am and I would like to go to church in the morning so... once again I will try to get some sleep.
Peace Out Yall.
Much Love.

Since I was just laying in bed tossing and turning I thought I would get up and tell everyone how things are going. I am officially off orientation at work and I still like it there. Although I see this whole night and day thing is going to give me problems but hopefully I will be able to work through it. My friend Rich has been helping me with the kids while I am at work and they seem to like him.
Breanna got strep throat on Friday and Rich took her to the urgent care on saturday(cause I worked all weekend), but not before she gave the baby scarlett fever. So I took him to the ER Monday morning after I got off work. Gave him some Benadryl to help that horrible sandpaper rash and so we could get some sleep because I had to go back to work Monday night. Every seams to be on the mend now except for some runny noses and froggy throats, but so goes it in this world of mine.

In the world of Nathan.... I finally got this sub par school to meet with me in a team like effort to try and help Nathan. I recorded the whole meeting much to their dismay. Nate was in two or three fights last week I actually lost count. However I remember the highlights. On Monday or Tuesday Nate was kicked out of school for fighting and I flat out refused to go get him and the bases that they had failed to follow through with a study team and told them I would not let them complain to me about his behavior if they were not willing to be part of the solution. When I finally went and got Nate at 3:00 I told the principal her school was an epic failure. That lit a fire to get a meeting for nate and they still have not evaluated him proerly. I also had the privlage of speaking with one of Pinal County's finest Sheriffs... yet another fight this time with a seventh grader and from the looks of it, Nate won. No charges were pressed. On the up side Nate's grades have improved.

Sorry got side tract and now I have to go...

Gonna make it.......

Just an update. I started my new job and I love it!!! I think this will be a good fit for me. I like the night shift people and if I can get used to working nights and being up during the day too. I might stay on nights. Yesterday I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that because of the economy we will not be going to standardized uniforms like had been previously planned. The bad news also due to the economy is that the hospital(Banner Ironwood) that was scheduled to open the end of next year is now indefinitely pushed back. It would be nice to be that close to home, however I am making friends quickly at where I am at now.
In other news Bre had her first basket-ball game yesterday afternoon. Unfortunately her team lost, but she played a good game. I do have to say the kids are mean when they play, there were a lot of fouls and some foul mouths from the players(the other team). I am all for a competitive game however these girls need to learn some respect and have there mouths washed out. lol. Anyway she really seems to be liking it which is good for all of us.

The other three are doing well and are as rotten as ever. More news on them later.\

Love to all.

So busy that I skipped a couple of weeks.

Well according to my friends I have missed a few weeks of updates. LOL. So let me go back and catch up on everything. I did have a birthday this month and I had a great day with phone calls and emails from midnight to midnight. I went out to lunch with a friend and then had dinner with the kids. As an early b-day celebration I went to Edgefest with some friends, see here...
Then a week after my b-day I got to go to the Cardinals vs. Cowboys game as you can see in my last post.
In other news, I am happy that the kids father has been calling them weekly. After much discussion with some of my friends who have been through this, I was advised to stop protecting my kids from him (or lack of him.) As I have been really worried that he would just call sporadically (which still maybe the case) and really just mess with their heads. I have decided that to some extent his choices are not my problem. To that extent I can only be there for my kids when something does go wrong and not try to predict that it will go wrong. So here's to new beginings and new choices for everyone.
On the school front, Nate got in another fight and punched a kid in the mouth and broke his braces. I gotta tell you on one hand "my kid kicked your kids ass!" and I am slightly proud. On the other hand I don't really know how to deal with it because well I am not supposed to encourage that kind of behavior and because the school is not doing anything to help the situations. For example I have been trying to get Nate an IEP for over a year now. I finally got them to say they would start testing but only after I called the district office and raised hell. However so far that is all they have done and have not actually done anything in that effort. So I finally have started setting my own appointments and and just telling the people involved to be there. Let me just say this AZ schools suck! I miss Kansas schools, better education and better teachers.
Just a side note, last night I was cooking diner and looked out the back to see what Noah was doing and this is what I saw...

Notice the jeep he drove to the side of the trampoline to get up there? After about five minutes of asking him to get off I finally had to climb up there and get him.

Happenings

Wow! We have been super busy. So here is the 411 on what's transpired in the last couple of weeks. Bre made the basketball team and has her first game on the 27th of this month. She is very excited to be playing basketball. For her good grades, I had agreed to let her get her nose pierced; however there is a law in the state of AZ that prevents children under 14 from getting body piercings. So instead she settled on a really ridiculous looking hat. Nate unfortunately did not make the good grade cut this time around, but hopefully I have inspired him to do better. Abby has made a new friend that she just cant get enough of. Luckily her new friend just lives next door to us and they are able to play together alot. Noah is rotten as ever. He is just starting to talk but it is pretty unclear what he is saying most of the time. Noah also knows sign language which is far easier to understand then his words. On the upside his gross motor skills are very advanced (lol). He loves to jump on the trampoline with Nate and Abby and he drives Abby's jeep more than she does.
As for me, I am always busy trying to keep up. First off, I am back to the working world after being unemployed all summer. I am working for a great company and in a year or so I should be able to transfer to the new hospital that is very close to my house when it opens. I am not sure but I think they will be able to help facilitate me getting into a nursing program faster. We also were able to go to the state fair this last Saturday. Everybody had a great time, except for Noah but he didn't seam to mind to much. And on Sunday I got to go to a NFL game for the first time. I had the best time and am already planning more trips to the games. But as most of you know I am a Bears fan and getting to their games are not easy, maybe when they make the playoffs they will play out here since AZ is doing so well. Wishful thinking!

Under Construction!

Check out my new siggie. It is sad that I can figure that out but I can't figure out the rest of the background. The other thing that is sad is that it is 4 am and I just had to stay up and figure out exactly how to do this. Maybe tomarrow I will put as much determination into the rest of the page. lol I Should really get some sleep so I can keep up with Noah and Abby they are very busy little people. Love to all.

Words To Live By

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."

What Happens After A Long Weekend In The Mountains...

It gets quiet... lol
Nate held out til' we got home.

A Great Weekend In The Mountains!

Camping was soooo much fun!!! For those of you that didn't know we went up in the mountains over the weekend to go camping with our church. Not only was it so much cooler (thank god) it was so busy and we all had a blast especially the kids (even the babies had a great time. We got up there on Friday afternoon and the kids immediately took off with friends but made it back to camp by 10ish the first night and by 1ish the last night. They had stuff planned for Abby and Noah who were just beside themselves with excitement. I really didn't see Nate all weekend he didn't even eat with us. Saturday morning came around and the whole camp was up before 7am ugh. Immediately Noah and Abby were playing with friends, well Noah was trying to escape into the wilderness (he loves the outside)and Bre and Nate were gone before I could give them instructions to be back for lunch. Somehow no one starved lol. However because I could bearly keep up I got very few pictures. But I do have great memories. There was alot planned for the kids but they ran off and did there own thing and I guess they went to the planned activies when they wanted too. Noah was so happy to be outside for hours at a time, that he would just scream when it was time to do something else. And when it was time to eat he would just fall asleep at the table because that would be the only time that he would slow down for the whole day. So needless to say he didn't eat very well all weekend. But once we would get up from the table he was on the go again just wanting to run and play and swing. He really liked the slip and slide too.
Breanna and I had a few minutes when no one was looking to slip away. So we hiked down to "The Gap" which is where they were to scared to go the night before(after dark) and had to turn around. It was nice to spend a little time with just her. We climbed up all the rocks (a small mountain) and when we got to the top the veiw was stunning. All around us were beautiful green pine trees and the air was clear. It was just wounderful. It was a much needed retreat!
Any way like I said I really didn't get any pictures but here are a few. Just know that we had a great time and it was a real experience to have had.

And we are off...

We are all headed out for a family retreat this weekend. We are going camping up north. I can't tell you how excited we are all to go. I will do my very best to report all the action back to you next week. However, I have started back to school and have quite a bit of homework to do since I am carrying a full load this semester. But at least I have good instructors for all of my classes.
Just thought I would let you all know I will be moving closer to phoenix soon, to make it easier on me, so that school and work and kids aren't so hard. Also if I move back towards phoenix Abby will be able to go to preschool. Things are looking up for me out here and I am staying positive. I am very optomistic about or future.

Memories!

Here’s how it works:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don’t want to play on your blog, or if you don’t have a blog, I’ll leave my memory of you in my comments

August 4th was the first day of school for Nate and Bre. Played hell getting these two pictures but I got them. Sorry Nate's is so dark, he was more interested in getting to school and less interested in what I wanted.

I have two more weeks before I go back to school, and still no work. Everybody pray cause I am holdin out for a good job at Banner Hospital. Anyway nothing exciting here. I did get all the stuff done to have Noah's last name changed though. I think that should be the last of my battles. I know some of you don't think it is a big deal. But it is a big deal to me and then I won't feel like any one of my kids is singled out for any reason. Or at least anything that I can control.
Oh, on an exciting note the kids and I are going camping up north a little ways (where it is a little cooler) over the labor day weekend with our church. I am actually very excited about this because I have never done anything like this before. Of course I went down to the lake camping with the family a few times. But this is totaly different for me. I am sure it will be a great time and the kids will have fun too.

And my final grades are....

The summer session is over and the grades are posted. I got one "A" and one "B"! Nothing to bitch about. I am relieved for the break! But I still have to focus on some other very important things. Other than that life is what it is.
Peace out homies....

Video

Here is a video of all the kids just before we left to go see fireworks. Enjoy.

Call me Ms. Gilreath

Yeah!!! It is final. I am Ms. Gilreath again. The default hearing was yesterday and it went smashingly, if I don't say so myself. All the standard questions were asked to make sure I understand and am doing what is legal. When the judge gets to the question about parenting time she says "I can't find the worksheet". I told her any work sheet that may have been submitted is null and void at this current time as there is an order of protection against Mr. Gilbert and a history of domestic violence. So the very cool judge says let me just change this to " respondent shall have no parenting time, absent of agreement between the parties or order of the court" and of course I was like that'd be great. Then the judge says is there a child support work sheet and I said yes. She looks it over (and I see her mouth the words this is bullshit) and tells me she thinks its wrong(as it was 189/mo) and asks some questions. She says she is going to refigure the child support work sheet right there on the bench and determines that Sherman's duty to his children is now set at $756.61 per month since April. WOW! do you believe that. That's crazy! I have no idea where the judge got her numbers or what she used to calculate the totals. Now whether I will see a dime of that money is another story, but any way.

Sorry for all the posts today I thought I had posted them before but I had saved them as drafts so there you go. Pictures to come of my pretty new smile and the kids too. lol

The Other Delima

My other delima is that I thought I knew what I wanted out of life. It seams as though I am as clueless as when I was 20 except for this time I will admit it. I used to want to grow up, get married, have kids, be a nurse, and amongst all that be happy(in no particular order). I wanna be happy and I am pretty sure I wanna be a nurse. I know what I don't want or at least some of the things I don't want.

I am not sure I need to be married anymore I do wanna be with some one but I have definitely upped the requirements. Ya know. Must make me laugh a lot, at them, at myself, at life. Must be really good with kids and me who can sometimes have a tantrum like a kid. Must be good with finances. Must have stable job. Must know when to play and when to be serious, etc. etc. etc.

I also thought I wanted travel around a lot but the kids are really getting to the age that it really bothers them. I wanna finish school here and then move back home but that puts all of them at a really critical time in their school to move. They don't like the adventure as much as I do.

It is safe to say my professional goals are secure but my personal goals are in a little disarray.

Ego's... No not Eggo's

Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you reach for vodka and sugar! Then when all the bullshit is aside and you realize that it is you who keeps squeezing the lemon even though you ran out of vodka long ago and it really sucks; and even though you now know you are free to stop with the lemon thing at any time you just can't. It's like meth... Please step away from the lemon, Put the lemon down and walk away slowly.
Here lately I have come to a gross realization, that I am stopping myself from doing to many things that I want to or need to do! I have come to major crossroads in my life that need serious contemplation. No one panic I am not having second thoughts on school or anything like that. But as I have been forced to look back at my list of accomplishments I am not that impressed. I have a fairly long list of worthless accomplishments in review; a CNA license no good in AZ and will have to redo for RN school(well not the test but the class portion, could take the test if I wanna work as a CNA here) an EMT-B license, doesn't pay shit out here and non transferable license same as with CNA license; 1 year phlebotomy experience, doesn't mean anything in this state with out a license and to get a license I must take a class( I think at least one full time semesters worth)and then again with the pay thing. Then there is my Health Unit Coordinator experience and education pay is better than the previously mentioned careers but being outsourced by computers. So I haven't exactly found the job of my dreams not to mention I have had lapses in judgement in my life that may haunt me for quiet sometime if not forever. With me squeezing my lemons tightly coupled with this recession like non-recession besides the financial struggle, more importantly I am having this emotional battle to find the perfect job even though I already have a job. This is where my ego kicks in and I almost feel like Martha Stewart in Camp Cupcake. Maybe that is a bit much but OK no it isn't. I finally received an assignment today so there is the first clue it is not stable work in my opinion (if you know me then you know I need that definite schedule with out fail) It is in substandard conditions.....blah blah blah piss and moan really the truth is I am just unsure of the situation and I don't trust that it will be steady income. And truthfully this is NOT exactly what I had in mind when I sent my resume out however, since I have to be the grown up in this house...

I will save the other dilemma for another time. I need a nap before I have to get up and go to work.

Thinking...

Several things have happened since the last time I posted. Which is probably a good thing, that at least something happened because things were starting to get a little stagnant around here. For starters the divorce is set for hearing and should be finalized July 9th, 2008. I am ready to close that chapter of my life. School is super busy but one of my instructers happens to be going through some of the same shit as me right now and we live close so we have made plans to meet up once class is over and map out how we can rule the world. BTW school is going fine. I am back to work doing respite and habilitation work but its not something I prefer so I am still looking. But its close to home and serves its purpose for now. We have been swimming a lot here are some pictures:

No News Is Good News!

Well it has certainly been pretty quiet around here. The kids are out of school til' the end of July. Nate and Bre are very glad to have the break. Unfortantly for me I just started back to school on Friday, so no break for me. I am still looking for a job since I got layed off at the doctor's office. This is not entirely bad because with gas prices being so high if I take a few dollars an hour paycut to stay really close to home, we will fair better finacially. There are about 5 schools opening with in just a few minutes of here and that would be a good fit for my life. I am looking forward to a job that suits me and my life a little better. As I mentioned earlier school started Friday and even though I am only taking two classes it is already proving to be a lot. However I don't think I would know what to do if I wasn't overly busy all the time.
Breanna tried out for gaurd start at our local swimming pool (an early lifegaurd program) and didn't make the cut. She is very upset about that and doesn't ever want to try for anything every again as long as she lives. This phase should be over by the next time try outs begin in three weeks.
Nate and Noah have just been chillin' with no real excitment. Abby got her haircut. She loves it. She walks around all day telling us how pretty she is.

You want how much?

I am so glad that I stay on my kids' asses to take care of there teeth. Went today all by myself and for those of you that know what a baby I am about the dentist this is a huge acomplishment for me. I didn't even cry until I got the bill. After $6,000.00 my cost after insurance I will still need $5,500.00 in invisaline. But I guess it's not like they can do it all at once. It's really bummin' me out tonight. I am goining back on monday for more. Gluten for punishment. Huh?

Life is Good!

Another successful day. Noah went to bed in his big boy bed with no problems. Last night It took me like an hour and a half today I didn't want do al that so at nap time I just laid him down and walked out. Luckily I only had to go back in there one time and lay him down and then he was out for the count. Tonight was a little harder but still way easy in the big picture. I had to go back in his room maybe four times and that was it. So YEAH for big boys!!! Maybe he will potty train himself too.

New Memember To The Big Boy Club

I know Noah is later than the other kids getting there, but some things you just don't care about by the time you get to the fourth kid or as in this case my opinion has gone completly the oposite direction. Noah slept in a big boy bed last night for the first time last night and not by my choice! He keep crawling out of his damb crib!!! For that matter he can crawl out of everything, on to everything, into everything, up eveything, out of, away from, over, around, and through anything he wants nothing stops him. Things seem to have faded from my mind as to how I got my other kids to go to bed in there big kid beds. I know I have never been one to stay in there with them. But for the life of me as I say in there patting Noah's back hoping he would fall asleep bdfore I did I could not remember what I did to keep them in their bed or if they stay in their beds. Did they just quietly play and then get back in bed and fall asleep?

Duby

Lots going on as usual. First off I am a liar well not in the worst since of the word. Remember a couple of posts ago when I said everyone was healthy and that all was well. Well I took Noah in for a follow up visit and... he still has ear infections and either has pink eye again or it never went away eiter way he is back on antibiotics. GGRRRR! Noah is finally talking. Sadly he thinks Dub ya but calls him self dubie take a look:

Oh the other good thing I mentioned was we got a new couch it is really nice and super huge (13 feet across the back)as I mentioned in a previous post. Here are a few pictures of that and the kids.
I will also be getting two more really nice couches from a friend that is moving which is so very good for me since I have this giant house and am still collecting furniture. Pictures of those couches to come.
Hugs and Kisses to all.

Drinking and Blogging

not a good idea.

10 Days....

And it will be official! That's right boys and girls, I will be restored to my former glory Ms. Gilreath!!! Well at least the divorce will be final according to the court clerk, they will mail me the papers after the judge signs them. It really is a shame that things went down the way they did. But what can you do, huh? Any hootieville, I am forever more a changed woman. So a toast to everyone (pick up your glasses and beer cans).... for great things yet to come! Here Here.
Things I am digging todoy:
Bud light, Yummy
Myspace
and Yael Naim.. New Soul

Oh yeah the "comment" button is working again!

and so is the video links. Sorry all comments were lost. So get to posting friend or foe all comments are welcome. I will have lots of time on my hands until school starts back up to get back to you on everything you have to say.
Love and miss yall.

It's the little things that make me happy!

I know, I know...please stop lectureing me. Alright I am doin' it now. If you keep calling me I can't get this done..STOP!!! Aaauuugghhhhhhh.
Everything is busy here as always but there is a break in the tides for now. Schools over for the semester. Grades are posted and wouldn't ya know it... I made honors as usual. Yeah me!!! But this happiness can only go so far, school starts back up in three weeks. I will only be part time for the long session, I am taking off for the short session. But will be making up for all my slacking in the fall with a grand total of 18 hours in the fall. So many things have happened since the last time I posted. Well the short version is everybody was sick, got a new job, quite my old job, everybody finally healthy again (don't even think of sneezing in my direction), money came, money went, got a new super huge double chase couch, got fired from new job, was very upset,and finally, don't care and life is great! I will have the job of my dreams when the time is right, just not right now. Any who I wasn't really fired from the new job it was more of an office managers mistake. Apparently I was only in the budget for a about two days and then the powers that be decided that they could not afford me sooooo..... But at least it was a good excuse to get out of my old job. So no worries here, because I don't have to go to my old job or my new old job and be unhappy. But fianlly and the best thing for me is that EVERYONE in my house is HEALTHY!!!! No one is sick or taking any antibiotics, no more firery diaper rashes, no more hospital trips with high fevers, no more holding kids down to choke them with awlful tasting medicine, no more runny noses, and everyone is breathing well with out supplemental oxygen.
Other things that make me happy tonight:
popcorn
chocolate coke (by the way Kara you should have one too, it was very yummuy!) and for those of you wrinkling your noses at me, well I say, Have a Coke and shut up!
and laptop computers.
I was informed and checked the sources my self that a particular someone(s) has been visiting my pages and steeling my cool stuff. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Thank you to my friend who tipped me off to this cause I think its great. Although for my lucky and loyal veiwers this means I will have to work twice as hard to keep my pages updated and you all will have to work twices as hard to keep up with me and respond back with all your suggestions and demands.

Home at last!

Noah was finally released from the hospital this afternoon. Yeah! It has been a long four days. I was suprised they let him go but the doctor said even though his sats are still low since he won't wear a nasal canula there is nothing we can do and he seems to be compinsating ok. We will follow up with the pediatrician in about a week to check his pneumonia and ear infections. I am sooooooooo glad to be home and Noah seems to like being home too. He has started throwing major temper tantrums, full on throwing himself on the ground, but I hope it's just because he dosen't feel good. Abby is very relieved that I am home too, she had a very difficult time with me being gone. She thought I wasn't coming back. But I did and now I am gonna have to work 10x as hard as I was before to make sure these kids know that they are safe and loved.

Random thought: Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

Noah has Pneumonia

It's been a rough week. I am sorry to all who have called and I haven't be available to talk or return anyones calls. All of the sickness from last week has now doubled in size. Noah now has double ear infections and pneumonia, he is in the hospital. Until he can keep his oxygen level up with out supplemental oxygen we will stay here. So I am making the best of it while he is sleeping. It is finals week for me so I will be sitting outside his room doing my homework in a few minutes. The other kids (whom I haven't really seen in a couple of days) are with friends. Abby is really having a hard time, first her dad is gone and now I am not there either. I know it's only for a couple of days (hopefully)but she is really not ok with all of this. Bre said she peed behind the couch yesterday, I don't how much more she or I can take! Anyway as soon as Noah can keep his sats above 95 (I think) we will be able to go home. Since I have missed so much work cause of all his sickness (and will continue to miss work until he is better)I am pretty sure I lost my job (oh sadness, what will I do)did you catch all that sarcasim, but it is ok because I am pretty sure I have another job right here in Queen Creek (Yeah!!!)Oh the gas (money) I will save and time too, but more on that later. Here a few pictures from the hospital.

Picture Time!

A game of kick ball at the the church picnic from a couple of weeks ago.
Face off!
Princess Abby hamin' it up for the camera.
Noah Cheesin' behind his binky

Walgreens!!

An unlikely end to a rather bad day. Who knew after a really bad day with sick kids and just feeling crumy about my life, I would find a pleasent conversation at the end of a very long day at Walgreens. So thank you Walgreens for the medicine to get rid of the pink eye for Noah and the really nice guy ( who also happened to be cute too). Or maybe I should thank the really crappy major chain daycare (Mini skool sucks)for abusing my kids and making us all get sick. Which is what really caused us to go to the ER and then Walgreens. Whatever the case it was really nice to meet someone new even if it was the last time I might see him. Back to the crappy daycare thing, I have been on hiatis from the phone(thats why most of you don't know about the abuse thing). FYI: again let me reiterate Mini-Skool sucks.... The first day the babies were there Abby came home with two marks on her bottom, the second day Noah came home with massive bruises on the insides of his thighs and a stomach virus and pink eye. There will be NO third day! I am now back to square one. Krystal please move out here!! I know my babies would be safe with you and you could make a killing out here(you know I am only half joking). With only two weeks of this semester I am not about to give up! Lord please send me a nanny! Ok I have about 8 hours of homework to do and I have to be out of my house with the babies by 5a.m. and sleep would be nice but probably out of the question tonight. If I don't talk to any of you.... Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

To much T.V. when I start quoting... LOL

Too Busy!!!

I don't every remember being this busy! I am not doing any more than I ever have but I am tired at the end of the day. I must be old, huh? I know, I know, I have got to get better at updating this thing since I have stopped calling everyone. Any hootieville, just two more weeks and this semester is finished for me the kids have like four weeks. So at least I will get about a month break before my school starts back up for the summer.
Also I seam to have troubles getting videos to post (they show in the preview) but not on the blog. So you are always welcome to click on over to www.myspace.com/Gilreath5 and view all the pictures and videos there. It will be awhile until I can figure this whole thing out. But I have decided to take a HTML class and maybe some web design classes to make mine and yours a pleasent online experience.

As you can see by the above blog, nothing exciting happening in my life. Just keepin' up with school and the kids.

What's In A Name?

So it occurs to me today that I am falling down on the job, as it has been six whole days since the world knew what I did last. I meant to blog sooner, I really did, but you know how busy one can get with, dates, church, my school, kids school, and that pesky job of mine. So I put that all aside and now I make time for you... uh and the whole wide world. This past Saturday me and the kids went to a picnic for the church(link below post) and I don't think the kids have had so much fun in a long time. Bre has really been liking her youth group called Fire Escape and I can't tell you how happy it makes me that she likes her youth group. If I can only get Nate involved with something so good. I feel better and more energetic these days maybe even optimistic! In fact I was so energetic the other day I googled my name. OK really I was looking to see if this blog came up but it doesn't unless you put the 5 on the end of my name. However I did find lots of weird stuff. So I am assuming if you have the same last name that you are relatives of some sort. So I am pretty pleased that the Gilreath name does not bring me to much shame(lol) unless you count that one murderer. But in my name's defence it was only one out of 40 pages of google search(that's when I got tired of looking and went to bed). Yes I do realize that this was only a shallow search and the roots of my family are deeper than this. However this way took less work and was definitely interesting. The homocidal Gilreath murdered his wife (named Linda) hey that's my mom's name, and her father. Well luckily my mom Linda is still alive but her father is dead but I am pretty sure he was not murdered. OH and there is a town named after me and a street(Gilreath Mill Road)too. Apparently the Gilreath's are not to bad off over in the south and southeast. There are even some really smart Gilreath's besides me there are some medical malpractice lawyers in Tenessee, quit a few doctors of different sorts spread mostly over the south (but don't use the Gilreath dentist they have got some bad reviews it seams as though Dr. Gilreath has a heavy hand), several singers, an olympic medalist for hammer throw named Erin Gilreath (Erin is my middle name, maybe I should try my hand at hammer throwing), a black basketball star (if we are really related the who's the throwback me or him?)So it looks like, if you judge one by there name, I am running neck and neck with average. At least there is far worse out there on the basis of name like Bush, Lewinsky, or Hitler. Speaking of people who break the rules here is one little cute escapee...

Love Is NEVER Enough!

You know you should always learn from your mistakes. Which is why I have now come to the conculsion that Love is Never Enough! As in my soon to be exhusbands' lack of respect for self and others TRUMPED the fact that he loved us or that we loved him more than he was ever loved in his life. Well at least at one point we did (love each other). Anyway I have decided to be on the look out for a man that is not as romantically interesting as he is rational, dignified,and supportive. Of course looks will count (cause we all know what a shallow person I am) but after I get past the looks, and I will get past them, there will be more intense screenings and background checks if you know what I mean. Maybe some interviews with the ex's to find out the real truth or at least weed out some of the truth. Also I will screen the family for any immediate freaks and psycho's (I mean mentally challenged). I am not sure that I am kidding about any of this either. I feel pretty burned by the bull shit that he has pulled. I deffinately want to be more carefull anyway. This was a lesson not to be forgot! As things improve around here, and they are improving, I know I won't be so bitter about throwing my love away on someone who couldn't handle it. But until then I am pissed off. Who the hell is he to not take any responsibility for this fucking mess and leave me to clean it up. What the hell am I supposed to tell the kids? Your daddy is an egocentric, short tempered, abusive man, that is not responsible for himself so he can't be responible to you either. As much as I might want to there is not a chance in hell I would ever say that. Sides that explaining that to a 3 year old (the one that expresses her sadness the most) would be like explaining how babies are really made. It is just to much for her to comprehend. I don't know that I can bring myself to say anything nice either. I am glad the two that are biologically his are to young and probably won't remember any of this or him in a couple of years maybe even less, if I play my cards right. However I think the older two might have some issues to deal with. Bre is totally glad he is gone but Nate is not taking it so well. Nate is pretty sad about all of this even though he was the one that took the brunt of my ex's anger. But I am confident that he will come to realize that this is what's best for everyone, especially him. We are all survivors but now it is time that we all find our happiness.

What's Up In My World?

For those of you that are not current in my life here are the details. Ok well not really details but some vague references to whats happening in my little world. I am divorcing Sherman. I am currently attending school full time and doing well in that aspect. I still work at the same job(however I am looking for another one that is a little more conducive to my life)one that is not such a burden to find child care for. Bre and Nate are attending a charter shcool (can I tell you how much I love uniforms for shcool)and doing pretty well. Abby and Noah are still my babies and just hang out. Although this divorce has caused some termoil for Nate and Abby over all they are doing pretty good and it will take some time to clean up the mess of a dysfunctional relationship and to get all the kids back into good habits. However the sibling fighting has already started to lessen and I suppose that is all I can hope for. I don't believe that siblings can make it out of the house with out fighting so just less of it will work for me.

Inspiration

No, not the act of breathing. Inspiration to start blogging. Yes, I am now one of those people, and proud of it. Maybe I will blogg daily maybe I won't. I will tell you my whole life story in bits and pieces, share my children, my dreams and goals, and of course lots and lots of pictures. I promise (right hand raised left hand on bible) to keep my friends, family, and the entire world wide web updated on the goings on in my life. But not today. I will start updating.....uhhh later.