Love Is NEVER Enough!

You know you should always learn from your mistakes. Which is why I have now come to the conculsion that Love is Never Enough! As in my soon to be exhusbands' lack of respect for self and others TRUMPED the fact that he loved us or that we loved him more than he was ever loved in his life. Well at least at one point we did (love each other). Anyway I have decided to be on the look out for a man that is not as romantically interesting as he is rational, dignified,and supportive. Of course looks will count (cause we all know what a shallow person I am) but after I get past the looks, and I will get past them, there will be more intense screenings and background checks if you know what I mean. Maybe some interviews with the ex's to find out the real truth or at least weed out some of the truth. Also I will screen the family for any immediate freaks and psycho's (I mean mentally challenged). I am not sure that I am kidding about any of this either. I feel pretty burned by the bull shit that he has pulled. I deffinately want to be more carefull anyway. This was a lesson not to be forgot! As things improve around here, and they are improving, I know I won't be so bitter about throwing my love away on someone who couldn't handle it. But until then I am pissed off. Who the hell is he to not take any responsibility for this fucking mess and leave me to clean it up. What the hell am I supposed to tell the kids? Your daddy is an egocentric, short tempered, abusive man, that is not responsible for himself so he can't be responible to you either. As much as I might want to there is not a chance in hell I would ever say that. Sides that explaining that to a 3 year old (the one that expresses her sadness the most) would be like explaining how babies are really made. It is just to much for her to comprehend. I don't know that I can bring myself to say anything nice either. I am glad the two that are biologically his are to young and probably won't remember any of this or him in a couple of years maybe even less, if I play my cards right. However I think the older two might have some issues to deal with. Bre is totally glad he is gone but Nate is not taking it so well. Nate is pretty sad about all of this even though he was the one that took the brunt of my ex's anger. But I am confident that he will come to realize that this is what's best for everyone, especially him. We are all survivors but now it is time that we all find our happiness.