Some Days You Win...

Some days you lose. Today I lost! It seems as though I am not giving enough and this is why yet two more people have walked out of my life today. Well sorta. I received a message from someone that has been in my life a lot lately, stating that if I couldn't give more soon, he couldn't wait. And in usual Michelle fashion I said see ya! I refuse ultimatums. To anyone who thinks you can issue me an ultimatum and get what you want, I assure you you will almost always get exactly the opposite of what you want. So it was a nice run while it lasted. The kids and I had a great time. It was the break I needed from all the stress, hopefully there will still be a good guy like him out there when I am ready. But for now it's just the five of us!

Number two, who bailed, is far more complicated. I am not even sure this person bailed but she definitely fucked up! From one blogger to another I am really having a very hard time with this one. I can't even wrap my mind around the shit that went down today, nor do I know how to handle it appropriately. And this is not something I can just ignore. As much as I would like to stick my head in the sand on this one, mostly because I am at a loss. I can't, I am obligated in so many ways, as a b.f.f., a human, a health care worker, a parent, as someone that has been burned by the same fire. I have to do something, even if it means we are no longer b.f.f.'s. But what is the question. Not only were there problems caused for me that I cant easily fix if at all, there are consequences for her actions as well. Both of which I am not eager to deal with.

On the upside of all of this I have learned valuable lessons from both people that I don't intend to forget soon. One thank you for my lessons in patience and calmness. Two thank you for reminding me I can only fight my own battles and no one else's, and always for keeping me grounded to the reality of the worlds imperfections and greatness. I have made great memories with both of you, that I won't soon forget either. And there is still hope that either one may see the light.

My children are beautiful and loving and all mine. We are happy to have each other and proud to grow and learn together. I am excited that we are making progress, even though sometimes we take one step forward and two steps back. We have other special people in our lives helping us make our way and I for one am very thankful. So this new year maybe off to... well.. a bit of a rocky start, but I am confident that things will be exactly how they should be for us to grow and thrive. So HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and yours, peace and prosper to all my loved ones.